Tuesday, July 27, 2010

When your parents divorce

When your parents divorce it hurts at any age.

I just recently found out that my father is going to leave my mom. I am overwrought with emotion. What do you do? What do you say? How do I control my anger, my sadness, my disbelief?

It is sad.. I am sad and angry.. hell no I am pissed beyond belief. It is a really long story..one that actually started years and years ago... My father was seeing his high school sweet heart before he met my mother... the high school sweet heart ended up marrying someone else... My father (obviously) married my mother... but I guess my father and this woman never stopped seeing each other.. yup.. after all these years...

Fast forward to today... her husband is gone.. she is a fu**ed up, manipulative alcoholic.. dying in some halfway house.... none of her family will have anything to do with her (hmm.. can you say red flag?).. so she is languishing by herself in some home.... dying of the ravages of alcoholism and she has decided to keep her hook into my father during her final, dying days.

My father has chosen to turn his back on his family. And you know.. if it were a "simple" (not that anything like this is simple)... two people growing apart... moving on... you know.. I can get my head around that. But he has carried on this affair,.... carrying on this double life all the while anything I have known of growing up and who I thought my father was... that has all been thrown out the window.

But what really gets me is my daughter.. she doesn't understand. She was asking just yesterday where grandpa was. What was I supposed to tell her? That is what hurt the most... that my father is willing to walk away.. walk away from my mother... from my sister and I... and from his lovely granddaughter.

How am I supposed to deal with all of this?

And I am so sad for my mother. She doesn't deserve this. All I can do is tell her that I love her and that I am here for her... and I hope she can come out of this a stronger person... one with battle scars for sure. But there really is nothing else she can do but be strong. Be the bigger person.

I guess life is never simple... something always comes along to kick you in the teeth.

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